Alcoholism and the Sixth Step in Alanon

For members of Alanon, there is a real sense of relief after you have done your Fourth Step inventory and shared it with your sponsor, as part of your Fifth Step. You now realize you may have exhibited some confused thinking in the past, and you also realize that you have some wonderful qualities as well. You have discussed all these strengths and weaknesses with your sponsor, and you have admitted them to God. Now, you are ready to complete your Alanon Sixth Step by admitting that you are “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

This may seem strange, but sometimes we are not entirely ready to have our defects removed. If we have decided while doing our inventory, for example, that one of our defects of character is nagging, protecting or trying to control the alcoholic, are you really ready to give up this defect of character? Or, do you still cling to the idea that the alcoholic really needs your help? Do you still believe that you are responsible for taking care of them, so you can’t stop being over-protective?

These are questions that only you can answer. Hopefully, you have discussed these issues thoroughly with your sponsor as you worked on your Alanon 5^th Step. Part of the process of going through the steps is to pray and meditate about our defects, until we know that we are truly ready to give them up.

Does the Alanon Sixth Step say that YOU are going to remove your defects of character? No. It says that we are ready to have the God of our understanding remove them. This means that we need to be prepared for Him to remove them in His own time. The only part we have in this is that we need to be prepared to let Him.

Some people sum up the Alanon Sixth Step in this way: “I can’t; He can; I think I’ll let Him.”

All of us know that we have character defects that seem as much a part of our daily lives as breathing. We know what those defects are, and we know that we would be happier without them. However, those defects are part of us. They will not disappear overnight, and we cannot simply will them to go away. Gradually, God will open our hearts and minds and we will notice that these defects are beginning to have less of a hold on our minds. We may never be free of them entirely. However, God will lesson the chokehold they have had on us … and that is good enough.